Posted in
General Articles
by Jessica Gourley
on 7/23/2008
My entire life faithfulness has been a struggle for me. Even now, just seven weeks from leaving for Africa, my faith seams so weak. I think of how faithful God has been to me, all my life, but especially in the past few months. I've always dreamed of going to Africa to serve my Lord God, even in the times when I was denying God outright. It feels as if as soon as I came back to Him this trip was set before me. How do I say thank you? By letting stress in... Yeah, I know, thats horrible, right? Well, God knows. I tend to stress out easily, while doing so my focus is so strong on whatever it is that I don't need to be worrying about. I can feel God standing there, wrapping His arms around me, allowing me to cry in His arms. Sadly, I don't always acknowledge this. Tonight though, in a moment when I felt fine, He held me. Doing everything I could to keep my mind off of tomorrows stress I recieved a video from Beth, one of my lovely teammates. I had my t.v on to CMT watching a movie, as soon as I saw the video she sent me I started crying. I'd like to share that video with you.
This video opened my eyes. The things that I stress over are a lot of whats in the past, or things that I cannot change. Why? My faith needed a kick start, and tonight I recieved it. God met me in my livingroom, and gave me exactly what I didn't know I needed. I rediscovered my faith tonight. I pray that if your faith is lacking at all, that Jesus Christ will meet you where ever you're at. That the Great Almighty God will restore you, that you will have the faith of a child, and cry in His arms. God bless!!
I believe that Jesus died on that cross with my name, Jessica Ann Gourley, on His lips. I believe that He died for us to gain new life. I know it sounds a little generic, something that we've all been taught, its a "sunday school lesson". I feel that we, as adults, tent to loose sight of that at times. We all know that He loves us, but do we really think on it, and understand it like we should? In a book that I'm reading by Nancy Ortberg; Looking for God, an unexpected journey through tattoos, tofu, and pronouns, she explains how God revealed that true love to her. Its a long story, so I won't quote her. But it comes back to the cross, think with me for a second. Think of the love you have for your children, husbands/ wives, parents, siblings, and friends. Think of the joy and pride you feel when they accomplish something big. I'm thinking of the overwheming joy and excitement I felt when my three year old neice, Natalie, asked if I loved Jesus. When I said yes she got this big, silly smile on her face and grabbed my neck, pulled me in for hugs and kisses and replyed, "Good Exsica, me too!! I love heem sooo much!!". It brought me to tears. That joy, pride, excitement, and love I had (still have for all my neices) is only a fraction of how God feels for us. I believe that on that cross hung a picture of the perfect love. Jesus wipped me clean of all of my pain, anger, rebellion, and all that came with it, when he hung there. I believe that Jesus died so that I would be forgiven.